Status games
Keith Johnstone's "Impro: Improvisation and Theatre" contains one of the most useful mental models I've encountered: status transactions.
The See-Saw Principle
In any interaction between two people, one person's status rises while the other's falls. The dynamic reverses when circumstances change.
This explains so much human behavior. When someone tells you their good news, you congratulate them while feeling slightly diminished. When someone shares their misfortune, you feel oddly cheered up (assuming sympathy isn't required).
Historical figures like kings surrounded themselves with those of lower status to amplify their own standing by contrast. Your status is always relative to those around you.
Importantly, friendships operate through agreed-upon status games. Every gesture and vocal inflection carries status implications.
Teaching Status Through Eye Contact
Social hierarchies in animals are often established through eye contact patterns. Staring typically signals dominance, while breaking eye contact suggests submission.
But here's the interesting part: breaking eye contact without checking back can paradoxically indicate high status through apparent indifference. You're so high-status you don't even need to monitor the other person's reaction.
Other Status Techniques
Physical behaviors significantly affect perceived status:
- Keeping your head still while speaking projects authority
- Jerking movements suggest lower status
- Speaking in complete sentences indicates confidence
- Maintaining steady eye contact shows dominance
- Moving smoothly suggests control
- Occupying more physical space signals higher status
Space as Status Indicator
High-status individuals allow their personal space to extend into others' space, while lower-status individuals contract theirs. Physical acts like kneeling ritualize low status.
On streets, people unconsciously defer space to those they perceive as dominant. Next time you're walking, pay attention to who moves aside for whom. The patterns are consistent and revealing.
Once you see status games, you can't unsee them. Every interaction becomes a dance of tiny status adjustments. The good news: once you understand the game, you can play it consciously rather than being played by it.